I STILL KINDA OF HATE YOU!

Hey...like what the title of this entry says...I STILL KINDA OF HATE YOU!

Don't mind me saying this to you...YOU F@#KING BITCH!

WHY?

If your parents would have said those things very much earlier...who knows maybe I might have a shot at it...WHY????????????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

If I'm going to take my shot at it now...it would really be very awkward...

You are really a nice girl...you are someone that I am looking for...but apparently I don't know why I don't have such a luck...

Maybe it really comes down to looks/appearances...SIGH!

Let me work towards my master plan and see how it goes...

SIGNALS!

I'm really confused by her actions...

SIGH!

SSSSSSSSSSSSSSIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Diffferent

It would be different now but I have to accept it.

Life goes on.

Hopefully, I can get over it soon.

2nd April 2010 Friday

The day I was rejected AGAIN!

It's always "You are a nice guy BUT..."

I'm quite sick of it actually.

I guess I should not have shared it with Vanessa. Ultimately, no one can be trusted. Asking me not to blame her. I will try but it's a long process of gaining back the trust.

This is what I can remember.

I've got something to tell you. Okay.
Not ready for a relationship. Okay.
If things don't work out well, it will be awkward in office. Okay.
A guy that is chasing me for 8 years and we didn't even get together BUT we are still good friends. Right. So what is 5 months.
I don't want to lead you on further. Okay.
Don't be sad la I'm not worth it. Okay.

Afterall, what have you got to lose. NOTHING! No effort is needed on your side. Just a SORRY to end everything.

A simple lunch...a simple date...just to get to know one another...is what I'm asking for...BUT it turn terribly wrong...

Thanks for everything!

BE CONTENTED!

Be contented for now...

Hopefully there will be other chances in the future...

STOP!

YOU HAVE TO STOP BEING NICE!

LOOK AHEAD DON'T LOOK BACK

I keep advicing people but how come I don't apply it...

Time

I will need time to learn...

I will need time to change...

I will need time to control...

BUT DON'T TAKE TOO LONG...

I've got a feeling...

I've got a feeling that she is rejecting my offer...

Even though she can be all smiles but I got this feeling she is just trying to play along with me.

She gives me a cold feeling when she is in office. It's very different from before. I don't sense it anymore. What happen?

Why am I also giving but not recieving?

Please don't take me on a roller coaster ride.

I guess it's got to do with my feelings.

MELVIN PLEASE WAKE UP FROM IT!

AREN'T YOU SUPPOSE TO CHANGE?!

YOU GOT TO TELL YOURSELF DON'T LET THIS KIND OF THING BOTHER YOU!

CHANGE YOUR TACTIC! OK?

THE DATES

24th of December 2009 - Eve of X'mas
Went to Orchard together

7th of February 2010
Went with her to the salon

9th of February 2010
Went with her to buy present at Wisma

10th of February 2010
Rescued her from Vivo City

19th of February 2010
Accompany her at Wheelock Borders

3rd of March 2010
Send her home after her seminar

13th of March 2010
Element of surprise - Rochor Beancurd

31st of March 2010
Asked her out on a date

2nd of April 2010
Lunch date with her

One step at a time...

I will be having lunch with her this coming Friday... =)

Officially this is my first time asking her out, so is it considered an official date?

She didn't reject my offer, so is it a good sign?

Will there be more in the future? I really hope so...

I must keep telling myself to keep it slow...don't rush into things...

Pray that everything goes well this Friday and things will work out between me and her in the future...

2nd April 2010 an important date!